woke up at my parents and got to have breakfast with my them and my two favorite peeps.
it was really nice to be able to be home with my mom for part of the day.
we headed home and i was greeted by some flowers by my in-laws which was super nice, it is nice to have some fresh flowers to look at in the kitchen.
we watched malena at swim lessons and then headed to ikea.
we wanted to wander and look for ideas for our new house, and honestly, i just wanted to stay in constant motion. dreaming about ideas for the new house was fun for me and it kept me thinking about when we move, instead of thinking about thursday.
there were definitely moments in this day that the tears started to come, but i knew well enough to know that if i left them fall, they would likely not stop falling.
so instead i just focused on being in the moment. talking with my parents. getting some laughs in with them. drinking my favorite green tea (thank you fogos). laughing with barrett, planning for the new house. watching malena swim laps in the pool. letting myself get inspired by furniture and prints and decorations. eating swedish fish with malena (can we leave ikea without a bag? i say no). eating great pizza barrett made. tickle fights with malena. talking with my grandma on the phone. laying under my favorite blanket. sharing mom's day wishes with friends and family.
just focused on today.
man, this one was bittersweet for me, and honestly harder than i thought that it would be with the start of treatment looming over me. my anxiety and stress are through the roof, and my emotions are all over the place. i am scared shitless and really don't know which way to go or what to do.
today was full of so much goodness.
that is what i will hold on to.
no matter what, that is what i will hold on to.