Sunday, May 15, 2016

and so it begins----

thursday was a long day (but it was a great shirt day as you can tell).

it started out on a sweet note as i got to meet with other first grade moms to plan malena's end of the  year party at school. that was a fun way to start the day, since i love planning parties, and her party is one of the events that i made sure did not land on a treatment day.

i checked in at 11:45 and got my bloodwork done and my iv put in. similar to when i had treatment before, the iv was put in on the lower part of my right arm (which really hurts). since i will now have so many treatments coming up, i am going to need to decide if i want to have a port put in. a port would be put in my chest and would be a long narrow plastic tube that would allow them to put the meds into my veins. it would mean that i would not need an iv put in each time, but it would mean that i would have a port in my chest for the rest of my life. i haven't yet decided if i will do that or not, i just need some more time to think about and process it. at some point, even if i decided to not do it, i may have no choice if my veins stop cooperating due to how abused they will become over time due to all the bloodwork and ivs.

after we got the iv in, barrett and i met with an oncologist (mine was out of town) and the nursing team to go over the side effects. i am not going to lie, that was really, really hard. it is so overwhelming to talk about what may be coming for me, but i also want to know what i may be facing. every patient is different, and so i will need to take it as it comes.

after that appointment, i met with my counselor and that was good/hard as they always are. we talked about how i will choose to spend my time moving forward. i walked out of that room with tears streaming down my face and right into the arms of my friend michelle who was there with us for the day.there are moments in this that i don't know how i will do this, but then we headed to the infusion floor and i did it.

we were on the infusion floor for about 4-5 hours i think (i kind of lost track of time, but as you can see from this pic, i had my boxing gloves on). i got one drug, they cleaned my iv, then i got the second drug. they took a long time. it was hard to be back on that floor again. it was hard to be in one those rooms. it was hard to be in one those beds. it was hard to walk past all of the patients in each of their bays. it was hard to hear the constant sounds of that floor. it was hard. all of it.

right as treatment ended, i felt really nauseus and did throughout the night and early morning. for the most part, the rest of this weekend i have just been really, really tired. i am going to need to watch that closely because fatigue is a common side effect so i need to watch it so it doesn't get to the point that i don't feel like doing anything.

i worked from home a bit on friday, i just didn't have the energy to go in. which was a good thing for me to know because i imagine it will only get worse from here so i will plan on that routine moving forward.

the rest of our weekend included down time, some movie watching, looking at colors to paint our new house, finding some fun new pieces for the new house, signing closing papers, and tickle fights. it also included barrett and i going to the annual melanoma symposium that fred hutchinson and seattle cancer care put on each year. it has been tough to be there before, but it has never been this tough. but i am glad that we went and i will write more about that in a future post.

so another week begins. thankful that it doesn't include treatment. my next treatment will be on 6/1, and have an appointment with my oncologist on 5/25.

hope your weekends were good ones. thanks for all of the ongoing love and support that you are sending our way - it means so much to us that whatever comes, we aren't going to do it alone.

anywhere i fight, you fight. xo

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