Wednesday, January 6, 2016

this week

this week.

it has included a lot of things so far and i am half way there.

a lot of work.

not much sleep.

tickle fights.

a giggle fest with my girl.

calls to insurance to confirm when they will tell me if my disability leave will be approved (spoiler alert, they actually don't tell me until after i have had surgery. don't even get me started.)

green teas.

more work.

a great letterpress class with great friends.

the woman at human resources ending an email about my leave with "congratulations! it's close!;)" which immediately indicated to me that she had clearly not paid enough attention to remember that i wasn't going out on maternity leave but was having surgery. you know, basically the same thing. in opposite land. just another little punch to the gut and reminder that i won't ever get to go out on maternity leave again and the only disability leave i will take will be due to cancer. as you can imagine, her email to apologize when she realized the mistake was a little too late to make up for it.

kindness from friends.

watching my girl tumble and jump at gymnastics.

having a woman stop me at work as i was on my way to a meeting to tell me that she is sending me prayers. it caught me off guard because i was in work mode and had my mind focused entirely on work. i totally appreciate the thoughts, don't get me wrong, but it was hard to recover from that as she talked to me about how kids need their moms. i literally had to take some deep breaths to pull it together because i was about to fall completely apart.

a girls dinner with kiddo including a chocolate milkshake and extra sprinkles.

tears at a counseling appointment. talking through the hard stuff. passing the kleenex. taking comfort that him and i are doing the best we can for her. being a parent going through anything with cancer is harder than you can imagine. it feels like your heart constantly breaks for yourself and for her.

so one day at a time.

actually one minute at a time.

because that seems to be about as much as i can handle at this point.

happy thursday all.

ps) for those of you that love emily mcdowell's cards, she has some new ones out this week. you can see them here.

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