Monday, August 21, 2017

round 10

treatment 10 is a go. bloodwork is all looking good.

i have a special good luck charm with me here today, and as her shirt says, "girls never give up".

we got a chance in between my appointments this morning to go out and watch the eclipse. that was pretty awesome to say the least.

now i am in a hospital bed getting my infusion.

i just met with my psychologist and we had a good talk for a long time. we have a couple of things that we are going to try to help with my anxiety and i am going to continue with my meds. the anxiety continues to be a daily fight for me but we are trying to make it better over time.

and after this, we are headed off on a magic adventure.

have a good week, thanks for all the love and prayers and mojo.

anywhere i fight, you fight.


Monday, August 7, 2017


i am currently laying in the hospital bed waiting for my drugs to come so that we can start the infusion.

the results of the scans were that the tumors have not changed, no shrinkage. they have stayed essentially the same. there were no new growths that were detected on the scans.

so i am very thankful that there are no new growths, that is a great thing. i am thankful that the tumors have not grown.

i would be lying if i said it is disheartening after all these treatments and the side effects that they have not shrunk at all.

so, i will move forward with this treatment and for the next three months and then we will do scans and see what things are. there is a clinical study going on but i would only qualify if my tumors grow, but they are seeing good results from that study with the meds they are using.

thanks for all of the love and prayers, keep them coming.

anywhere i fight, you fight.



Saturday, August 5, 2017


"i'm just trying to be the most courageous collection 
of flaws and ghosts that you've ever seen"
(morgan nikola-wren)
friday was scan day.
it did not go too well.
like last time, i asked for an iv to be put in my arm instead of connecting to my port because the contrast moves so much faster through my port and through my body than through an iv in my arm and i have been having issues with a lot of nausea during the latest scans.
i had talked about this with the tech and he pushed the contrast in slow through my iv.
but as soon as they moved me into the machine, my body started to get warm all over (like normal) and i immediately started vomiting all over the place (not normal).
i was literally projectile vomiting all over myself and all over the machine.
they could not get out of their room (the techs are in a room while they give me the exam) with the green barf bag (that i lived with while in the hospital) fast enough. it was all over the place. i was literally soaked through my shirt and the top half of my pants. and my hair (which as a sidenote i think is starting to fall out because my pillows in the morning have been covered with my hair and more and more is coming out in the shower but no balding spots yet).
they gave me a warm blanket to cover up with and then we did a few more scans. when i am in that machine, i am not supposed to move. as soon as i started vomiting (while in the machine), clearly i moved. so we did a few more (without more contrast) in hopes they could get all of the shots they needed for the radiologist to do their review.
when they finished those, the nice tech asked me if wanted help removing the vomit from the back of my hair (i am laying down for the exam so the back of my head was soaked too). of course i did since i couldn't see for myself which was very nice of him.
i then went out to the observation room and waited while they confirmed that they got the needed scans, and then when i could, ate a little snack until i could confirm that i thought that i was not going to get sick again and they felt confident that i could leave.
all i really wanted to do at that point was head home and go to bed. i was already exhausted (as usual), was embarrassed (though not my fault vomiting in front of others is never fun), and did not feel good. but my work day was packed for the rest of the day so i did what fighters do and rallied and went to work (and changed my clothes of course).
ugh. long, long day.
we head in at 7 am on monday for bloodwork and i get the results of the scans at 8:15am, so send your mojo and vibes to us at that time. i then go in for infusion at 10am and have a psych appointment too at 9. busy morning to say the least.
thanks for all of the love and support and good thoughts.
anywhere i fight, you fight.
here we go again. xoxo