stand up

tonight is the annual "stand up to cancer" television event (info on it is here).

this show is a bag of mixed emotions for me. i can't even write this post without the tears forming.

i wish that we didn't need to raise funds and awareness for cancer research, because i wish that there were cures already existing for all kinds of cancer.

the stories of the cancer patients are an inspiration in that they make me feel less alone in the fight, and an anxiety builder in that they can be very tough to listen to. the stories hit very close to home. sometimes the stories have outcomes that are not the ones that i want for myself, or for anyone else.

but those stories deserve to be heard, and so i listen. and i cry (a lot). and i wish that everything with cancer would just go away. and i am thankful that there are so many doctors and good people dedicating their lives to finding cures. and i appreciate how lucky i am to have so many good doctors and nurses that are with me throughout this journey. and i thank my lucky stars for all of the love and support that i get from my family and friends.

so i watch.

so i listen.

so i cry.

so i stand up.

i will always keep standing up to cancer.