Thursday, June 2, 2016

the day after + vibes for beth

the day after.

the day after getting tough news is kind of like living outside of your body. for me anyways.

all day i felt like i was watching myself try to move through the day.

got kiddo to school. filled out some paperwork for a new doctor i was seeing today that focuses on nutrition for cancer patients going through treatment (oh, the irony of the timing). hung out with my sister and my parents. went to my favorite place for lunch with barrett. did some work. had my appointment. ran some errands. went to the talent show at malena's school. had my hot sauna appointment. went to the pharmacy to go through some questions on my meds. a lot for the day. but as predicted, i did not want or feel (thank you steroids) like sitting still for one second. not one.

with the doc today, i had to start off the conversation by telling him my situation i thought that i was going to explain to him today was totally changed on me less than 24 hours ago. but he gave me good supplements to take to focus on my liver, and i like that --- because it is a plan. and getting off of these damn steroids and getting my liver back in shape is goal number one for me right now. i do not like how the steroids make me feel. he said that drinking green tea is one of the best things for my liver, so clearly, i have that one already down in spades.

my sister (aka nerd for those of you reading this blog for long enough) came over from pullman yesterday to kick it with me for treatment day. when we got the news, and i had tears streaming down my face, i looked over to her as i laid in that bed and she was sitting in a chair on my left. she simply looked me in the eyes and mouthed "i know." and i knew that she did. and i realized in that moment that maybe that was the entire reason that fate had her come for that appointment after all. because the fates knew it wasn't going to go my way, and they did me the kind favor of having her be there.

those fates can be crafty when they want to be. the shit with the joy.

so needless to say, i look forward to this weekend. simply because it will bring downtime and very few plans so i can lay low, breathe, and try to rebound a bit.

monday i go in for bloodwork at 8:30 and meet with the docs after that to see how my liver is doing.

tomorrow is the day that beth goes in for scans. so all of my good vibes, love and prayers will be going her way tomorrow. she has labs at 10 and scans at 11. on monday she gets her results at 8:30.

at the exact same time on the same day we will both head in for appointments. this has happened a few times since beth was diagnosed. i like to think that it is good luck for both of us. even though we will be at different centers, the vibes will be flowing and i know that monday will bring news my liver is heading in the right direction and her scans are crystal clear.

but please continue to send her good vibes, prayers and love through tomorrow and the weekend. we need to let cancer know that we aren't messing around and they better plan to stick to the plan of staying clear of beth.

i hope that you all have a good weekend. go out and do something fun. make the most of it. try something new. do something you have been putting off for a while. take a nap. read a book. call someone. hug someone. send someone some happy mail. do something for you. do something for someone else. just do something. you know what they say ---the days are long, but the years are short. trust me. that is right on.

see you on the flipside of the weekend peeps.

thanks for all the love -- beth and i both appreciate it more than you know.

anywhere we fight, you fight. xo


  1. Alli- I'm going to go back to your "i don't know what to say" post. I want to say something but I really don't know what to say. I only wish we had more tangible ways to help!!! I have no doubt that you will fight with the determination that characterizes you and we will be thinking of you, sending good vibes and energy. We missed you both at pretzel hour today but we're glad to know you are focused on getting that liver back to where it needs to be. Lots of love to you and your loved ones. We are here to help you FIGHT. Best vibes to Beth as well. You are both amazing!

  2. Sending you love and healing vibes. I feel your devastation so deep in my heart. I am so disappointed for you. Virtual ((hugs)).