Monday, July 15, 2013

the day is here again

well, july 16th is here.

one of the hardest days of my year, three years running.

i looked back tonight on my two posts about july 16th that i wrote in 2011  and in 2012.

hands-down, this is the toughest anniversary yet. the stage iv diagnosis being the clear reason why. i feel emotional. anxious. nervous. i started tearing up about 15 times on and off today for no real reason. no real reason other than (the very real reason of) the proximity to tomorrow and knowing i need to take a deep breath and make it through.

coming into the 16th feels like hitting a little bit of a rough patch. but it will be just a patch and then i will move off of it. i always do.

july 16th. february 20th. 

on this july 16th, i will focus on the fact that it is a day that also brings good things. it is the day that my friend mari was born and this year she celebrates a happy and healthy 38th birthday. i am thankful for all of the good things that she has brought to my life, and the countless laughs that we have shared through the years.

i am also thankful that chase is home, here is the update on our little warrior:

"This morning we had a family meeting -Tank, Ava, Chase, Lisa and I. We decided we needed to get out and do something as a family today. After discussing several options, we narrowed it down to two: Go to the zoo, or go to Three Rivers Park in Bloomington and go on a nature walk. We picked the right one! We loaded up Chasers Stroller, meds, water, misting fan to keep Chase cool, the kids roller blades and off we went. Chase handled the 25 minute car ride great. He seems to actually enjoy riding in the new car seat we bought him. This one is much better that first one we purchased, that actually put a couple sores on his back- which explains why he cried the entire time on the first few day passes back when he resided at Gilletts. We took turns pushing Chase in the stroller, while Tank and Ava roller bladed ahead, making sure to stop and pick one of every wild flower they could find. Chase seemed to really enjoy the walk. Im sure the fresh breeze and all of the sounds of nature did him alot of good! We took the path up to a large public park that was full of life. People Barbecuing, family picnics, kids running, and laughing everywhere. Tanner and Ava wanted join in the fun on the huge jungle gym with the rest of the kids, so Lisa and I sat on the sidelines and watched them be kids. As I sat next to Chase, wiping the spit bubbles from his lips, and spraying him every so often to keep him cool- I couldn't help but to look around in envy. I watched as children the same age as Chase ran by, there eyes full of excitement, their little bodies moving effortlessly towards the huge metal and rope fortress. Not a worry on their mind, except maybe which one to attack first. For a breif moment, I felt as though I was looking through a window and I was locked inside. I realize that life is much different now than it was in the past, and I know that I have the tools to deal with it, as does Lisa. These moments of weakness, definately motivate me to do everything I can to help Chase move forward in this journey! The kids seem to be handling Chases condition much better as well. They were talking to him and interacting with him all day long as if nothing had changed. It was a great day of bonding and experiencing taking Chase out into what he used to know and love.

The last two days have educational for Lisa and I. We are getting the Meds and formula thing down. Yesterday, Chase had a pretty ruff day. It seemed everytime we got settled, he would throw up on his clean clothes, and we have to change him again. We are not sure what is causing this, as are the doctors- hopefully when he has his scope on Friday, the look into his tummy will reveil something. What ever was bothing him yesterday, did not seem to affect him today. He did not throw up once! Gramma and Grampa Lykken have made a pit stop here today. They are going to hang out and help out with the kids for a few days until till Gramma Judy returns. Tomorrow we are planning on visiting some friends on Prior to hang out for a couple hours, and then Tank and I am going to pick up a fish tank I purchased for Chasers room. I am sure he would be as excited as I am if he knew! I figure if we don't have time to go out and catch them, atleast we can watch them swim around in his room. I hope you all have a gr8 weekend. God is Good!"

i hope that you all have a great july 16th, do something great on this day.

let's make the good outweigh the bad.

are you in? i know you are, and that is why i love you. xo


  1. I am in. A and I are going to paint tonight for our something great -- LOVED the post for Kelly and you have inspired me to do the same. Thinking of you. XOX Sarah

  2. I have a grandson who is brain-injured. He is now 30. He chocked on his formula when he was 8 months old while visiting his other grandmother’s home.

    When I read about the sore on Chase’s back, it reminded me that we should have put my grandson in a back brace sooner than we did. It would have helped with keeping his back straight. No one told us to do that until the back started curving. We didn’t bring my grandson home after his long stay in the hospital after the chocking event. We placed him into a facility for non-ambulatory brain-injured children where nurses were on duty all the time. My grandson cannot walk or talk. He communicates with a computer. He no longer can eat so he is tube fed. He is happy and loves game shows and cooking shows on TV. The private facility he has been in all these years is wonderful and close by. He did go to school until he was 18. Now, he is taken to another facility during the day for activities.

    When the facility built another building, my grandson through his mother was able to pick out which room he wanted. Then, the facility arranged for the local fire department to escort him to his new home. He loves the sirens, so the ambulance that transported him and the fire truck did the sirens.