Sunday, March 9, 2014

full circle

on friday i had an appointment at my general doc's office. being back in that office brings on such strong flashbacks of the day that my doc first said she didn't like the way that mole on my collarbone looked and she wanted to biopsy it. i can remember the office we were in. i can remember that i had my navy zip-up sweatshirt on. i can remember it all. this time i hadn't been in for over a year since most of all my appointments these days are with my oncologist or dermatologist. so, i also got to tell them that my diagnosis had changed from stage iii to stage iv, that is always a super fun stat to give an update on (not). so i was feeling a little off on friday because being in that office always leave me feeling rattled.

so when i saw that my dermatologist had left a voicemail for me late on friday afternoon, i wasn't sure if i wanted to hear what he had to say. so i looked at that little "1" on my phone telling me i had a new voicemail for a few minutes. then i finally pushed play. it was good news. the lump on my arm was a growth that is not related to cancer in any way and is not anything that i need to worry about. huge relief, and a good way to start the weekend. thanks for all of the good vibes you sent my way for those results.
and the day had come full circle.

i had another full circle experience earlier in the week as well. my friend hannah had told me a month or so ago for a woman that she knew who lived in seattle and was also diagnosed with stage iv melanona.

deb and i were able to meet up with earlier this week, and as soon as i walked in, i recognized her immediately. at one of the melanoma clinic's that i go to each april, deb had shared her story with all of us. she had an original diagnosis from a mole on her back, and years and years later, the melanoma came back in her small intestine with multiple tumors. as soon as i saw her, i immediately remembered her. although clearly i wish that we didn't have it in common, it was so nice to be in the same room with someone who had also heard the words "stage iv melanoma". someone who was a mom to a daughter, who obviously has many of the same reasons to fight as i do. deb is doing great and just got some clear scans results in january and so she will not have scans for another year. that is awesome. and it gives me a little more hope. i am so happy we can now share our journeys.

this weekend i read glitter and glue and it was amazing. i knew it would be since kelly corrigan wrote it. i could not put it down. there were many parts of it that hit me hard, and i felt like kelly was taking words right out of my mouth. in particular the parts where she talked about her own fears as a mom after her own cancer diagnosis. this is one of those books that i think that every mom or anyone who has a mom (so pretty much everyone) should read. it will strike a chord with you in some way that will leave you feeling grateful you read her words.

another weekend down, a busy and emotional week begins.

we are meeting with our mortgage specialist and our realtors this week, the time has come to decide what we are going to do about our home. after i had wrote the first post on this topic, we decided to not make any decisions at that time for a couple of different reasons. now that we have decided malena will go to kindergarten at the school she is currently at, we have to make a decision and implement it prior to registration next year. so this will be a long week, and it will be a tough one. this entire topic is so emotionally charged for me that i feel tired even writing about it. 

i hope that your monday is a good one, and that your weekend was a great one.

here we go again, atleast i know that this week isn't going to bring any stitches, so that already makes it a guaranteed better week than the last one;) xo

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