Thursday, June 18, 2015

a little bit of grace

today was a long day of work with a couple of appointments after work. our day started to slow down around 7.

by the time her and i rolled into whole foods, it was about 7:30.

pretty sure that we were both tired and hungry.

after we walked in the store and had gone down a couple of aisles, she begged me to go back outside and get one of the kid carts (you know, the ones for kids half her size) to let her ride in and steer. so back outside we went, we got the kid cart, and she was in heaven. to get the kid cart, we went out a different door than the one we had come in. our friend that sells the papers to earn his income was there. so we bought our paper and asked him how his day was. his smile is one of the kindest smiles i have ever seen, makes me always think that inside of him is likely a heart just as big and kind. it always kind of amazes me to see how many people walk by him with no acknowledgement or even giving him eye contact or a smile, and it makes me sad to think about how many of his great smiles go unnoticed because no one is even looking at him -- many times because it is clear that they are intentionally looking anywhere else but at him.   

back in the store, i think that i could have shopped all night long and she would have been totally ok with that. a good reminder that all of the little joys in life, like pretend driving a cart through whole foods, make up some of the very best memories.

the entire reason we went there was so that i could get gluten free cake mix to make a cake for her graduation dessert tomorrow (yes, this girl is graduating kindergarten tomorrow, pass the kleenex asap). but as i walked past the bakery section, i saw a gluten free chocolate cheesecake. and i took pause for a second. i thought about how i had planned all week to bake the cake (because of course i tell myself that baking it makes it more special), but wasn't sure quite how the time was going to fit into the day tomorrow. i thought about how much easier it would be to buy that cake and already have dessert ready to go. the part of me that is harder on myself than anyone else could be said "hey you, remember you were going to bake one yourself because it is a special day." then the part of me that is always reminding myself to give a little grace said "hey you, who makes the cake doesn't matter, she wants a chocolate cake with a candle in it so if you make that happen you are doing great." so i listened to the voice with grace, asked malena if she liked it, got a "that cake looks so good and awesome" and into the cart it went. overriding my own expectations is really hard, but damn it feels good to do when i actually pull it off. need to keep practicing that as much as possible.

we picked out some food and had a picnic in the front of the store. we talked about our day. she told me that she was "so excited i am going to burst mom" about her graduation ceremony. we had a contest of who could eat the biggest strawberries. we talked the whole way through our time eating dinner. it was pretty great.

for dessert, we ate some cookies that we got for graduation tomorrow. as we walked out of the store, we asked our friend if he would like a cookie or two. he gently took one, i told him to go for two, and he did. we got another one of those great smiles and we wished a good night.

one trip to the store. her excitement over driving a cart. me giving myself a little grace. non-stop conversation. a chance to see some smiles from our friend who spends so much of his time selling papers at the front of the store.

all in about 35 minutes. amazing the good things that can happen in a small amount of time.

you just have to make them happen.

and i am all over that.

have a good weekend peeps. xo

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