Thursday, October 25, 2012

breakthrough/my mom

+++ breakthrough today.

sat next to a woman in a meeting who i had not seen in a few years and she clearly didn't recognize me. when she finally did, she said "you used to have long blonde, curly hair - not anymore it looks like?" i said "nope, not anymore" and we moved on. i didn't get upset. my eyes didn't well with tears. thanks to the good advice of my friend michelle, i first thought about seeing someone i hadn't talked to in a long time. my second thought was that she wouldn't recognize me. my third thought was that i would be ok. healing? yes, healing. 

+++ my mom.

this weekend we will celebrate my mom's 70th birthday, the party planning has all been leading up to this. this picture is from when i was one, and it is crazy how much i see my own resemblance in my mom, and how much malena looked like me when i was a baby.

my mom is many things to me. i am pretty sure that me and my bro/sis have the best mom ever (yay for us!). caretaker. cheerleader. sounding board. good example of taking care of those you love. friend. shoulder to cry on. awesome cook. amazing grandmother. support system. a constant when everything else always seems to change. laugh maker. nurse. listener. center of our world.

i thought of her the other day when i was reading a post by libby ryder talking about her mom sharing thoughts on her fight with cancer. her mom had said "one of the hardest parts about libby being sick was that for the majority of her life i was the one that offered her wisdom and advise as i had walked many of the same roads before she had. i always seemed to have something to offer. but in was my daughter who was teaching me what it looked like to walk through cancer...".  i have thought a lot about my parents since my diagnosis and how it affects them as parents and how hard it is for them. libby's mom's words struck a chord with me because my diagnosis was probably one of the first times my mom couldn't say to me "i know exactly what you are going through and you can do this." but she could say she loved me and she would be there for whatever i needed, and that was all i really needed to hear. i was thankful she didn't have similar experiences with cancer, thankful that she didn't have those stories to share.

so this weekend is all about our mom. i can't wait. bring on the party, the smiles, the laughter, the celebration of 70 years with hopefully many more healthy ones to follow.

she is simply the best. ever.

happy birthday mom.


  1. Happy birthday to your mom.

  2. Dear Alli,

    My name is Dianna and I'm from a healthcare-focused organization currently working on a research project that's looking to improve care for metastatic melanoma patients. I've been reading many of the patient blogs the past few days and am deeply touched by how courageous and positive you all are in your fight against this terrible disease. As a part of our research, we are looking for direct feedback from patients regarding their treatment and overall journey with melanoma. I would really appreciate it if you would be willing to share some of your personal perspectives and experience with melanoma. To give you a little more information about the objectives of our project, we are first and foremost looking to speak directly with actual patients such as yourself in order to understand first-hand what you feel are the unmet needs in the treatment of metastatic melanoma. We hope to be able to utilize your feedback to help develop tangible resources including educational materials, institutional support, and other similar support tools that will improve the overall quality of life and benefit all patients as they fight and cope with melanoma.

    Please let me know if you are interested in speaking with us, and if you are, what is the best way to contact you (email or phone) and I can provide you with additional details regarding our research. If you are not yet ready to share that story, I’d definitely understand and wish you and your family all the best.

    I will also be posting this in other similar blogs, but if you know of other melanoma patients that would be willing to help us with this important research, please feel free to provide some contact information and I will reach out the them.

    Thank you and god bless.


  3. One of your best posts ever! Enjoy every moment celebrating that center of your world.
    Lovely tribute!!! Please wish her a happy birthday :) xo