the helpers

 

i am sure that most of you have seen this quote somehow in the last 24 hours, if you have a facebook account, you most certainly have as it has been posted on numerous pages. i first saw it on friday a few hours after i had heard about what happened in connecticut. i spent friday (and the days since) in a bit of a blurry haze as i am sure that most of you have. but i connected with this quote when i saw it. it made me think of all of the people that i know and love that are helpers. i was comforted by the fact that i know so many good people in this world that can sometimes seem so cruel and senseless.

 

on saturday morning, my friend jill from wisconsin was in town and i was picking her up so that she could come over to our house for lunch. when we got to the house, i started to walk in and barrett told me to cover my eyes for a surprise. i thought that malena had done some christmas decorating or had a surprise for me. well, there was a surprise alright.

 

when i came around the corner, i first saw family and friends. then i saw my dream couch. yes, that dream couch. remember when i told you about the couch in this post? of course, i was in total love with the couch, but i always knew that i would only have the chance to sit on it one time in my life. i got to sit on the couch when i was at kelly rae robert's studio back in july, which was such a fateful trip around the time of my scans. if you remember, i felt like the fates gave me that unexpected trip to portland that monday because my scan results on wednesday weren't going to be what i hoped for. we know that turned out to in fact be true, but i am still so grateful to the fates for allowing me to meet kelly rae and susannah. it was a dream come true.

 

ok, back to the couch and dreams....when i sent out that post about the coach, my dear friend jill got an idea. her idea was that if enough family and friends donated money, collectively they could buy me the couch. after jill got the word out, the money for the couch ($2,000 people!!) was raised within two days (and i know that many of you reading this right now donated and i love you for that). in fact, more than the money needed for the couch was raised, that additional money is going to be donated to fred hutchinson cancer center in my name. unbelievable.

 

this planning had been going on since november, and i had no clue. no clue. at all. which is pretty amazing when you think about how many people knew about the plan.

 

i am still in total shock that the couch is in my house, i am sitting on it right now as i type this post. i wish i could sit on it 24/7, i would if i could. i keep looking over my shoulder when i am walking around the house because i feel like i need to keep checking that it is still here. it is that feeling of it all being too good to be true.

 

the dream gets better....garden gallery (you have heard of them from me before because i have posted to their site numerous time with kelly rae roberts items i love) was so kind and generous. they worked with jill to allow for the free shipping offer to occur even after the actual sale had expired, she had told them the story behind why it was being purchased for me. out of the kindness of their (clearly huge) hearts, they gave me one of kelly rae's 2013 calendars and one of her trunks. i have been drooling over those trunks ever since i saw them for the first time, and i have used kelly rae's calendars for the last couple of years. how amazing are they? yes, completely amazing. clearly, they are helpers.

 

the dream gets even better...garden gallery arranged for kelly rae to sign the couch ("to the lovely alli, a cozy place to inspire your creative spirit. xo, kelly rae 2012"), the calendar ("to alli, here's to new beginnings. may 2013 be full of brave days. xo, kelly rae 2013"), and the trunk ("to brave alli, to inspire your creative spirit. kelly rae, 2012"). i literally could not believe it, it was like dream overload. as you know from the gazillion times i have wrote about kelly rae or posted about her art (like when i bought myself one of her originals for my mother's day present), i am a huge fan and surround myself with her art - and many of you have got her art from me as gifts. so having her signature on the coach she designed - which is now in my house - is as about good as my dreams can get. then you add the signed trunk and calendar to it and i am speechless. if you could see the video from saturday,  you would know i was literally speechless. i don't think words came out of my mouth for the first couple of minutes. then i sat on my couch and just took it all in. all of the goodness. all of the love. all of the thoughtfulness. all of the donations. all of the planning. all of the giving. all of the care. all of my helpers.

 

this couch was meant to be mine. i feel such good energy coming from it, and when i sit on it, one word comes to mind: healing. i feel like this couch gives me a place to sit that is all my own (of course i will let you all sit with me anytime you like) that was created out of immeasurable love. i have always known that i am very lucky to be surrounded by so many people that care for and love me. i didn't need the couch to know that. but i feel like when i sit on this couch, everyone is wrapping their arms around me and telling me that it is going to be ok. whatever comes from these scans in january, and the scans after those - and the scans after those, i can do this. i have been doing this for two years, i will keep doing this. fighting, surviving, and healing. all at the same time, some days one more than the others.

 

so on this sunday night when my heart breaks for those families in connecticut, i am sending them good thoughts and prayers while i sit on my couch. those thoughts and prayers are telling them that there are helpers. they are all around us. this i know to be true.

 

 



december fun

this has been a week of unexpected december surprises:

+++ on monday (in addition to my derm appt good news), it was a mystery monday night with my girlfriends. the mystery was that we were going to go around lake union in seattle on a hot tub boat.  yes, a hot tub boat. i didn't know they existed either. it was so great, we went on the perfect night.  clear sky, no rain. for two hours it was the seven of us in the boat cruising around the lake, checking out all of the lights of downtown seattle and the christmas tree on top of the space needle. after the boat ride, we headed to fremont for a great dinner. continous side-splitting laughter. perfect, unexpected december monday.
 +++ my friend beth surprised me with some flourless chocolate cake, peppermint bark, and a beautiful "inspire" ornament that made her think of me. the food is almost gone, but i will love putting that ornament on my tree every year.
+++ my friend kerry made me christmas sugar cookies and they rocked, and they came at the perfect time in the middle of a really crappy afternoon at work.
+++ my friend wallace sent me the biggest gummy bear i have ever seen, i had no iea wha was in that box when it showed up but i knew it would be fun (wallace, that box was soooooo heavy;))
+++ a message from my friend joel - one of my most favorite co-workers ever (i will message you back soon my friend - p.s., jumpsuits rock)
+++ a good catch up session with one of my favorite peeps while driving home from work

now if work could just be this good, the week would be perfect.

happy thursday everyone - the weekend is almost ours.

derm

my dermatologist appointment went great today, no areas of concern - i so love to hear those words. i go back to see him in six months unless i see something that concerns me in the meantime. six months, i will take it. let's hope the good news keeps rolling through the scan results in january.

today was a great day, more to come on all of the reasons why tomorrow.

goodnight peeps. xo.

5k

today was the big day - the 5k! i did it!!!

when i first set the goal for the 5k, i did not run. at all. period. i set the goal because it was a big one. something i had never done before which is what made it a good goal. but here is the thing. i like running. yep, really like it. so there will be more of it in my future. next year the goal is to do a couple more 5k's, and then a 10k later in the year. after that, we will talk about a half-marathon. i never would have thought that this year would end with me running a 5k when 2012 kicked off. an unexpected box on the bucket list checked off. feels so good.

today was a good day.

our weekend was really good as well:
+++ reisling (you knew that would be on the list) + sleeping in on saturday (which helped with getting up at the crack o' dawn for the run today) + lunch at pcc + holiday party with good friends + funny white elephant gifts + peanut m&m's + christmas cards in the mailbox + pancakes with fresh fruit (so good after an early morning run) + berry mimosas + sunday afternoon nap + fajitas + seeing christmas lights on our drive home + watching malena fall asleep immediately after her head hit the pillow + catching up with modern family which equals a lot of laughing + ordering the photo memory game for malena (i am not sure which of us is going to be more excited to play once she opens it, but i think that i might be).

hello monday, as always, you have come faster than i wanted you to.

sidenotes:
+++ thanks to all of the peeps who signed up over the weekend for the "send happy mail to jen campaign" - you all rock, i will send out the week assignments later this week. for those who haven't yet let me know that you want to participate, let me know anytime - the more the merrier;)
+++ are these cupcake stands awesome or is just me? i am having a hard time - and i mean mean really hard time - not ordering them for a little merry christmas to myself.
+++ also saw these and thought that they might save a lot of time that i spend unwinding my headphones when i pull them out of my purse
+++ if malena needed office supplies, she would so dig these animal paperclips
+++ i think that this george bailey award is a great idea, and i totally plan to do it with malena when she is a little bit older

hello, weekend

friday, you were brutal. work was miserable for me today. i also get the pleasure of being miserable over the weekend by having to work on an assignment i got at 5pm and is due on monday, leaving me no option but to work on it this weekend. ok, enough whining, moving on.

i hope that you all have a great weekend, one week closer to the holidays. my weekend will include work (let's get the bad news over first) + finding some white elephant gifts + dinner with friends + addressing christmas cards + getting some shopping to-do's checked off of the list + fajitas + oh yeah, a little thing called the 5k! yep, the 5k is here - oh man, i hope that i can pull it off. more to come on that by monday, if i am not still running.

enjoy it peeps. make it fun. make it merry.

sidenotes:
+++ thanks to everyone who has already signed up for the send fun mail to jen campaign - you all rock. can't wait to have more peeps sign up, and i will get weeks assigned asap. (nerd - heads-up, you will have next week)
+++ i did not get picked for the design team that i submitted for. a bummer for sure. but atleast i tried. thanks for all of the good vibes on that.
+++ i really liked this post, a good reminder that those things that seem out of reach can quickly become ours with a little time and effort
+++ this might be the most personal mother child conversation you''ll ever be lucky enough to overhear
+++ gift ideas for your favorite workhorse
+++ homemade cranberry bliss bars
+++ i love the idea of wrapping and opening a christmas book each day in december
+++ whipped eggnog loaf cake
+++ chocolate caramel saltines

launch of the "happy mail for jen campaign"

remember earlier this week when i asked for good biopsy vibes for a friend? i know that all of your good vibes are working their magic in ways we don't yet know, but unfortunately, the good vibes didn't translate in to good biospy results. the results showed a recurrence of cancer. recurrence and cancer are two words that should never be allowed to be in the same sentence. don't you agree?

jen was diagnosed with cancer just after i was about two years ago. she is a daughter. she is a wife (she married my friend mike, who i am pretty sure is thankful every single day that she did - as he should be;)). she is a friend. she is a daughter-in-law. she is a teacher. she is a survivor. the list goes on and on. with the results this week, she is headed towards a likely combination of surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. for the second time. which is so not fair for so many reasons.

when i was going through treatment, i especially loved happy mail showing up in my mailbox (you know that i always love happy mail showing up). it was so nice to have something to open that wasn't a medical bill, and that i knew was sent just to let me know others were thinking about me. happy mail brought me comfort.

so i am launching the "happy mail for jen campaign" and here are the details:
+++ every week while jen is fighting (and more importantly beating) cancer, we are going to send her some fun mail. either fun snail mail or fun email, your choice - or both!
+++ let me know if you would like to sign up for a week (or weeks) and i will assign a week to one person. that week you send jen one piece of fun snail mail or one funny email (marcie-roo, i know you have some funny videos that you make you laugh, those could be perfect!). you can always send more than piece in one week if you like;) 
+++ before each week, i will send a reminder out to the person that is in charge of the happy mail for that week.
+++ the goal is to let her know that people are rooting for her, make her laugh (funny cards are awesome), have her crack a smile....in general, letting her know good vibes are coming her way.

if you are going to sign up for a week (and i know you are) or more, leave me a comment on the blog, email me, text me, facebook me, instagram me, make smoke signals, trip me while i am walking by you....however you know how to communicate with me, let me know that you want to join the campaign (and make sure that i know how to follow up with you, especially if i don't already have your email address). i will then assign you a week and give you jen's address/email address so that you can hook her up with fun mail.

as someone who knows, i can tell you that taking the time to send some fun mail to someone who is going through cancer treatments is one of the best ways that you can spend your time. i know that most of you don't know jen or mike. but, you know me, and you know that i am lucky enough to be surrounded by the best of the best. you have been affected by cancer somehow, and you know that a little bit of kindness can make a big difference. you know that jen has cancer, and i know that is the only reason you really need to join me in doing this for her.

i thank you from the bottom of my heart for joining the happy mail campaign. my mom was the first to sign up and her card is on its way, i know that you want to be the one who gets dibs on next week.

let's end this year by knowing that we will be giving jen something fun to look forward to as the new year and all it will bring for her begins.

thanks all. you rock. xoxo

very important sidenote:
++++ jen - i know you are reading this right now, so just pretend to be surprised when the happy mail starts rolling in;) i know that you and mike can do this. without a doubt. i am backing you all the way. i have also put cancer on notice that it is about to get its a*& kicked by you for a second time.

the email

i got the email on monday from my oncologist.

scans on 1/14. results on 1/15.

6 month derm appt on 12/10.

the cycle begins again. the countdown is on.

tick....tock.