Thursday, December 13, 2018


We have never hidden anything from Malena since she has gotten old enough to "understand" what was going on with Alli.  I put quotes because I don't think I am old enough to "understand" what is going on now and I'm 40.

Since the doctors told us on Tuesday there had not been a good chance to talk with Malena about their prognosis but I did tell her tonight as I would never want her to hear it from anyone but us.  To know you are going to break the heart of your daughter into a million pieces and tell her that mom is fighting like hell to beat the odds but you can't promise that she will is the hardest conversation I hope I ever have to have.  I might forever question if I did it in the right way; did I say it too strong, not strong enough, did I say too much, not enough, could I have used different words... heartbreak

Alli completed her third radiation treatment today.  She has been sleeping a lot since we have got home on Tuesday night, probably 20+ hours a day.  Her nausea and headaches are still there but, knock on wood, they has been more on the mild side.  She was able to awake for a little more tonight which allowed us to have a little family night watching the first episode of Top Chef on DVR.  For a few moments it felt like what normal used to feel like.

More to come later.  Wherever we fight, you fight!



  1. Barrett, you did it right. It came from you, with love.

  2. I know you did great. You told her with honesty and love. ❤️

  3. You are an amazing dad Barrett. You need Malena as much as she needs you right now. Hugs to you both brave ones

  4. I’m pretty sure you did an amazing job because that’s who you are. Plus, you’re 40 now, so a lot wiser. ;)
    Only love, good mojo, and more love is sent your way every day.

  5. Barrett, I can’t even imagine the strength and courage it took you to have this difficult conversation with Malena. You did your best under the circumstances and that’s all that matters. Don’t question yourself. Just be in the moment and hold each other tight. Sending you, Alli, Malena and the rest of the family all of my love and support.