Sunday, September 9, 2012

stand up

"life is brief, even at its longest. whatever you are going to do with your life, get at it. all good will be attacked. all values must be defended. in all areas of the human existence, what we put into this world, we get back from it."
(jim rohn)

on friday night, we watched the "stand up 2 cancer" event. it is always an important - but tough, show to watch. although i knew it would be hard, i needed to watch it. i wanted to hear the stories of others who have bravely fought cancer, to hear about the research and the doctors that are working hard to find needed cures. it was hard to watch throughout the hour, but it also gave me hope. when hillary's story, who had been diagnosed with stage III melanoma came on, i lost it (no surprise there). she explained that she was stage III when she was diagnosed and so the melanoma was pretty far along at that point. that was probably the moment when i literally could not stop the tears from coming. stage III, that is eerily familiar. when she took off her wig to show her doctor her shaved head, i flashed to when i showed my oncologist my hairless head. when they showed her parents supporting her, i thought about all of the support we have had from our parents, and how my parents come and stay with us on the days that i have scans and the following day when i get my results. hillary is doing a trial treatment with hopes that it brings a miracle for her or others. she asked the doctor how long she would have if she didn't do the trial. the doctor asked how long she would hope to have. hillary said she would like a year, the doctor's silence made it clear that she wouldn't have a year. hillary talked about how she believes that even if her life isn't saved, then maybe someone else's will be by her fight. i too have thought a lot about the benefits that may from my diagnosis. even though i am scared beyond belief of what is to come, i take comfort in the friends and family that have gone in for appointments with their dermatologists to have their skin checked. some have had to have biopsies, but they have all been clear and i am so very thankful for that. if one person i love gets their skin checked in time to avoid what i have been through, some good will have come from all of this.

this weekend i also saw on a melonoma blog that a woman who was diagnosed in 2010 with stage III passed away this week. my heart goes out to her family, from the words shared about her, it is obvious she was a fighter.

between the show and the blog update, my head and heart have been heavy this weekend. sleep has been evading me. hearing the realities of others stories is never easy for me. but none of this is easy or it wouldn't be cancer.

i did stick to my plan and sign up for a 5k run in seattle in december. i don't run. at all. but like i said in an earlier post, i need a goal to work towards. this will be a good one - really tough, but really needed. so today i put on my brand new running shoes and started training. one step at a time.

i will stand up to cancer, and i will run.

with my new shoes on, i am hoping more than you know that cancer won't be able to catch up to me.

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