the lasts

last weekend we said goodbye to malena's binky. we should have said goodbye to it a while ago, but for different reasons (one being in the last year i wanted her to be able to keep something in her routine that brought her comfort), we kept the binky for naptime and bedtime. last weekend presented the perfect opportunity to say goodbye since the binky was starting to tear. so the binky fairy came (tnx pattersons for the idea) at night and gave malena a new dora dvd in exchange for the binky so the fairy could give it to another baby who needed it. it worked. the first night was rough (and that is downplaying how it went), but it has been a non issue since. whew.

i go in to check on malena every night before i go to bed. it is the very last thing i do each day. my nightly routine that she doesn't even know about. early last week, when i went in to check on her, it hit me. i would never again go into her room and see her asleep with her binky in her mouth. she looked like such a big girl. i started to cry. i realized in that second that i didn't realize, or really let the moment sink in, when i saw her for the last time with her binky in - which was such a part of our routine for so long.

i think that the tears that came were for that moment i had missed, but then i realized all of the other lasts that i had also missed. well, i didn't miss them actually, i just didn't realize that i was in that particular moment. i didn't capture it in pictures, nor can i recall them perfectly in my mind. the last time she crawled before she walked. the last time that i saw her laying in her crib. the last time that she was standing up in her crib waiting for me to pick her up. the last time that she drank out of a sippy cup. the last time that we bathed her in her newborn tub. the last time she played with each of her baby toys. the last time that she sat in her boppy chair. the last time she ate baby food. the last time that she wore a bib. the last....

i am admittedly more sensitive to time now, how quickly it passes and how much life there is to fit into each day. how many moments there are to remember and cherish. so now (i thought i was before, but realized on that night that i was not doing as good of a job as i can do) i will do my best to pay attention to the lasts as much as i do the firsts. the firsts don't happen without the lasts, they are both equally important and i want to capture as many of them as i can.

in the meantime, there have been some more firsts this week...
~ our first trip to paint away to try out painting on pottery, she rocked it and i loved getting to watch her paint her little heart out for a special little project

~ we ate ice cream (with m&m's and sprinkles) before 11am - and it was so good.



~ the first time she addressed her own valentines, and yes, as you may have guessed, they are dora;)

now another week of new firsts, any maybe some lasts, begins. how sweet it is.

sidenotes (you love these, right?):
- jill, your valentines are on the way, congrats again on being the card giveaway winner. here is just a teaser of the theme of the valentines.

- i really loved - and totally identified with - this list from marta writes - i didn't just graduate from high school? really? bummer.
- i also really appreciated this article that reminds me to try and keeping looking forward as much as i can
- for the ladies, if you would like to get an inspiring email in your inbox on a daily basis, you should sign up to get these (i know what i am talking about, right jen? xoxo). jen also highly recommends getting these notes from the universe (she is very smart, so you should probably trust her on this).
- if you like pizza (and i know you do) here is a quick recipe that barrett invented that has become a regular in our house: all you need is pizza crust, add a mix of pesto and a basalmic dressing as your sauce on the crust, pile on chicken/mozzarella/spinach/tomatoes and some feta on the top. tonight we added some peppers. so good. every time. you are welcome.