Tuesday, January 31, 2012

fake ceilings

last friday i went to the dentist. usual routine at the start. then she put the chair back and this is what i saw (not sure what is up with the streaks, but couldn't get the picture to turn out without those yellow lines). fake ceiling tiles. you know how i feel about those. all of a sudden, my heart started to race and i felt like i was lying on the scan table. didn't see that coming. i have obviously been to the dentist since i was diagnosed.  i don't think that i really paid that much attention to the tiles before since i was so used to seeing them while i was in the constant rotations of scans. since i now have a few months off from scans, i had already kind of shut down for a while the familiarities of what i feel like during scans. my heart racing made me realize i will never again go to the dentist without thinking of my scans. i really don't go anywhere without taking cancer with me. no reason the dentist office should be any different i guess. and so it goes....

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