Monday, January 27, 2014

storms + a tuesday that needs a lot of love

"whether or not storms come, we cannot choose.
but where we stare during a storm, that we can."
(max lucado)
well, here we go again.
i check in at seattle cancer care alliance tomorrow at 8:15 for the drill. we all know how it goes. needles. bloodwork. iv. saline. contrast. scans. more contrast. recovery for thirty minutes. head home. lay in bed and feel like complete crap all afternoon. ugh. results are wednesday morning at 9:30.
i am the usual mess of emotions. scared out of my mind. feel like i could cry at anything and everything. super anxious. can't sit still. exhausted. don't want to go to sleep because the nightmares have come back into town. all of the usual hell that i go through when these days roll back around.
tomorrow is also a day that others that i care about need some love, prayers, and mojo too.
mary is meeting with the surgeon tomorrow to determine timing and next steps for removing the melanoma tumors from her leg. so we need to send a lot of love to wisconsin as mary continues her journey to get rid of the black beast for the fifth time in that leg.
in seattle, beth is going to have another ultrasound to get a better idea of what she will be facing. so as she goes in for yet another test in the neverending series that comes with the diagnosis, please send her love, mojo, and prayers. i always hoped that my diagnosis was the fates way of telling me that i was going to take one for my team so that no one that i loved had to go through what i have had to. so to see beth go through the types of decisions, the ones you never wanted or thought you would have to make, that cancer deals you really makes me angry at the fates. but i know that no matter what the fates throw at her, she will fight like hell. i only have fighters on my team, so that pretty much goes without saying.
my friend mary sara's cousin is going in tomorrow for colon cancer surgery, and she is asking for prayers. so please send them out along the winds so that they reach her and her family tomorrow.
tomorrow my friend sharon goes in for her bloodwork to check her tumor markers, and her results come back next tuesday. sharon is a serious fighter and doesn't listen to cancer so i know that this round of bloodwork is going to come back clean and she will continue to do great.
my friend mike has just started his 6th round of chemotherapy for his lymphoma, and so he too can use a ton of prayers as he continues his fight against the "devil" (which is a name that i also think is pretty fitting for cancer).
so on this tuesday, there are a lot of us that need love, prayers and mojo. that is for sure. i can't tell you how much i wish that tomorrow was a tuesday when no one had scans, bloodwork, surgeries, appointments, chemotherapy, ultrasounds. but in order for that to happen there would have to be no more cancer.
i don't think that i could dream of a better day than what that day would like.
thanks for all of the love and support tomorrow on behalf of myself, mary, beth, mary sara, sharon, and mike. i know that i speak for all of us when i say that we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
i hope that you will do something fun this tuesday just because you can.
just because you can spend your day however you choose.
make it a good great one.
that would make me so, so happy.

anywhere i go, you go. xo
ps) auntie carolyn - thank you for the card, and as you can tell above, i loved the quote. xo


  1. Sending lots of love across this great nation from sub-zero Ohio to Washington! Wishing YOU all the best today and I'm so looking forward to hearing GREAT news tomorrow from you!

  2. Love abounds!!!!!! Thinking of you every minute today. xoxo