Monday, August 4, 2014
mondays + beth + tourist in my own town
+++ i am definitely convinced that a picnic after work and some time by the water makes a monday better than it would otherwise be. yep, pretty sure about that. summer mondays, i think i love you. keep up the good work.
+++ on this tuesday my thoughts will be with beth as she begins chemo treatments. this is her final round in this fight with cancer, multiple chemo treatments over the next couple of months. but i know that she can do this. she has her boxing gloves on, and is ready to come out from her corner and fight with everything that she has. go beth go! send her your love, prayers and mojo all day - but especially when she checks in to to get it all started at 8:20am pst.
here is her latest update in her own words..
"Tomorrow morning it begins again. More treatment and likely more sickness. I still sometimes feel like this isn't my life, and I am not starting chemo tomorrow. But I am, and it is my life. Many keep reminding me that this is my last phase of treatment, and it is. I just hate feeling sick and I don't know what kind of sick I will get. Chemo kills the bad cells but it also kills the good cells. And it goes on for 3 1/2 months. I read through all my materials last night, looking at the potential side effects and things I can do and what to look out for. Always hard to read those things and see what could happen.
I go in tomorrow at 8:20 AM and start with blood work. 9:30 I meet with one of my nurses. 10:30 start infusion and then around 2 or so to get my pump hooked up and head home. I go back in on Thursday to get the pump disconnected. It's going to be weird coming home and having a pump continuously pumping chemo into me. I have to sleep with it, eat with it, do everything with it. I don't know what to expect with all of it, and as friends have told me worrying over it yet isn't helpful, but it's hard to stop. And it definitely has been affecting my sleep.
And since I don't know how I will feel I have avoided making many plans after tomorrow, but I am starting to wonder if I should not do that. I should go ahead and make plans with my friends and those reaching out to see me and if I am too sick I will cancel but maybe it's better to have something to look forward to.
And going into chemo has made me quite emotional. I feel like I am emotionally supercharged right now, ever since the port went in because then it became much more real and getting closer. And now it is here. So I have been really riding the highs and lows, and feel more sensitive to everything.
The port site is healing just fine. Still some bruising but less painful. Still sore at times. I had to take pain meds again for a couple days because it hurt so bad, but am off those again and just using Tylenol to control any pain. I tried to ask the nurses last week what it felt like to have a needle go into the port and never got a clear answer - they weren't really sure. It seems to vary. So I need to debate do I want lidocaine before, or put lidocaine topical meds on or just go for it.
Since one of my chemo side effects from the first round was a dislike of food and smells I have been trying to eat things I love, going out to eat and eating outside as much as I can the last few weeks. I've done a good job of gaining some weight back over the past couple months. I won't be able to eat as many cookies and dark chocolate as I want forever. As my friend John told me a couple months ago, the Seattle restaurant industry was missing me. But they got my business again the past few weeks. It would be nice if that side effect didn't happen again, because it's not even a side effect they list, but it definitely was real and very odd. Because I am someone who loves good food.
So this weekend I went to Seafair weekend for the first time since moving to Seattle. Ken and I went Friday, he has a friend who is a long-time volunteer for Searfair so we got passes and could get into the hydroplane pits. It was pretty cool to be up close and see the boats and the crowd. It's a whole other world. We also saw the Blue Angels perform their show from the shoreline of Lake Washington. There were so many people there, I didn't know what to expect, it was a much bigger production than I realized. So that was really cool and something I haven't done before. You feel like a big kid because you can't help but smile as the Blue Angels did their show, with all the noise and the tricks.
The weather continues to be nice so there was more time outside last week and weekend, good food, movies, and just enjoying this time. I want to make the most of what I can, even though I am not at 100%.
Yesterday mom got back into town. On our way back we stopped to see the end of the Blue Angels show and see them landing at Boeing Field. It was fun to see them fly right over us as they landed. Today we played hooky and got pedicures and ate more food that I enjoyed, my favorite frozen yogurt. Tonight Ken joined us for dinner, and we sat outside at a restaurant in Magnolia with a great view on the water and of Rainier. I want to soak in these moments and focus on good things and remember that despite the pain, the sickness, the sadness that has come from this year it also has brought me joy, love and reminders that I do bounce back and what is important. And I will bounce back again.
I have my goodluck charms and courage charms ready for tomorrow. I'll be wearing my "I'm going to kick cancer's ass" t-shirt (wear it for the start of end of treatments), my Be Brave bravelet which I wear every day, and my Mojo good luck charm.
Thanks so much to everyone who has been reaching out to me offering their encouragement in preparation for tomorrow. And thank you all for your ongoing love, support and prayers."
+++ after reading ali's post and emma's post i am inspired to be in a tourist around town and plan some staycations.
+++ and just one more...i have never felt good about having totally disorganized digital photos until i read elise's post this morning. amen sister, amen.