i am officially sick of being sick. i might crawl my way back to the land of the living tomorrow. we will see how it goes.
in the meantime, i thought that i would share the artwork that i had made for our 5th anniversary. i decided to have a piece made that would mark the date of our anniversary, but would also mark where we are now with malena in our lives. perfect. couldn't be happier with how it turned out.
i sometimes look at the piece and wonder if there will be a second bird in that tree someday. the decision on whether or not we will have a second child remains unmade at this point but i still carry it with my every day. but with my next rounds of scans coming this summer, it is a decision that will wait until we see what results come our way and how we move forward from there.
there is not a day that goes by that i don't think about the unknowns that the future holds.
but i try hard not to dwell on those unknowns for too long.
i know the answers will come in their own good time. some days that is a little bit tougher to remember.
one day at a time. one day at a time.
I wonder if we'll have a second bird too. Given that my melanoma developed (fast) during pregnancy, the questions of what another pregnancy would do to me and my body (and any little rogue bastard cells left) are definitely on my mind.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that gave me a little peace of mind was a chart my oncologist had showing the decrease in rate of death over time. Hard to explain, but basically, it seems like the risk of recurrence decreases over time. But all that waiting sure is hard. At least we have sweet ones to enjoy in the present.
Congrats on your anniversary!