Sunday, July 17, 2016

dear 41

dear 41,

well, i guess it is you and me for the next 364 days, it was good to meet you today for the first time.

i intentionally brought you in pretty quietly this year, seemed like the right way to do it -- easy and gentle.

i am super thankful that you are here, and as i do every year on july 17th, i thank my lucky stars i get to be a year older and get another trip around the sun. so, so thankful that you showed up and i get to see all that you will bring.

don't get me wrong, you scare me quite a bit. you are coming in and bringing with you a lot of joint aches, sore muscles and legs, chipmunk cheeks that are so swollen due to the steroids, and other frustrating issues.

but you also bring me hope. that treatment will work. that the tumors will not continue to grow. between you and me, if you bring a time when the tumors shrink i might designate you one of my most favorite years, and i have had some really good ones so you would be in excellent company.

but mostly 41, i am looking forward to intentionally trying to slow down with you. hopefully to catch my breath a bit.

to spend more time in my craft room working on our family photo albums. sending happy mail to family and friends. this last run of time since surgery has seemed to have stunted my drive and ability to be creative, and i am going to work really hard to bring that bring in your year. i miss making cards, and working on photos, and sending happy mail. i miss it in my core. so that is going to be a focus for you and me.

i plan for us to read a lot of books, i am pretty excited about the two that we just picked up from the library today. already 30 pages into the first one and could probably stay up all night reading, but as we both know, we would be in seriously big trouble with my big brother (just fyi, i think that he might be tracking our sleep patterns with gps;)).

i am excited for us to tackle the continuation of the unpacking in this new house, so that we get to a point where we can be in any room and not see boxes. to see our art on the walls. to have it feel totally like home.

i plan for us to get back to exercising on a regular basis, swollen legs or not. we might not be running any races soon, but we can get out and starting putting some miles down. i know, it doesn't sound like fun right now (and it probably won't feel like fun right now), but we can do it. i know we can.

we are going to intentionally make plans to have family and friends over, for dinner, for drinks (and i know you can't wait either for when the day comes that we can have a cold cider), for ice cream -- whatever. to have this home filled with laughter and fun on a regular basis. so get ready for some fun and some planning, we are going to make some good stuff happen this year. i already have some good plans underway.

i also plan on us taking some naps. because let's be honest, you know that you love them too.

we are going to spend time outside working in our yard with the beautiful flowers and plants, and learning about how to take care of them since we have some kinds we have never had in our yard before. it will be a good chance to learn something new and watch the flowers bloom through the year. an intentional way to pay attention to what is happening outside of these walls instead of just hastily walking by them on our way to and from wherever we may be going.

we are definitely going to eat dinner outside as much as possible this summer. i bet you could already guess that one since it happened today on our first night hanging out together.

there are going to some fun trips, some short, some a little farther. i can't tell you everything we have planned on our first day, so you will just have to hang tight to see where we might go.

i know that we will likely have some tough times together 41, all years have tough times. but i also expect that we will get more than our fair share of really good times too, and i will embrace those with you as tightly as i can.

you are an important year to me. all years are. but you are coming in with a lot of questions in the air about what exactly you may bring my way. so i am going to trust with everything that i have that you have a lot of good things planned, and you will kindly and gracefully hand me off to 42 next july 17th. i would forever be in your debt and will remember you always.

so i hope that tonight you bring me some good dreams and a restful night.

you came in calmly this morning with no muscle spasms and so i am pretty much in love with you already.

here we go 41, it is you and me for a long time to come. i know that we can do this. i will be with you every step of the way, and you do the same. we need to have each other's backs, it is the only way we are going to make it.

goodnight friend. see you bright and early.

let's do this.

anywhere i go, you go.

love, me


  1. Lovely post Alli! Happy forty-first mon ami :)
    xo Em

  2. Woohoo! Happy 41st birthday, beautiful girl! I love your post. Such a heartfelt way with words that everyone can relate to. Hugs to you!