clinical trial starts tomorrow

i hope that you all had a great thanksgiving holiday weekend, we definitely did.

can't believe that december will be here this week. totally crazy.

tomorrow i will go in at normal time at the crack of dawn for bloodwork.

we are supposed to meet with the clinical trial staff and then also meet with my regular doctor's assistant.

i should get the second drug tomorrow that I have to start taking.

i should also have my infusion.

we will see how it all goes.

i am expecting a long day.

i have been pretty quiet on here as I think that I am still letting it all settle in.

plus, we have since celebrated malena turning 9 and barrett turning one year older (i mean one year closer to the big 40;))

so, life has been full of celebrations and traditions.

i won't lie that those are so bittersweet for me, and maybe no year more than this year which has my anxiety wanting to come on full tilt. but i just keep taking it one day at a time and trying to keep all of the monsters at bay as best i can.

i had two nights without nightmares at my parents house over the break which was so nice, i got really good sleep. but the nightmares come back with a vengeance last night and i am so, so tired tonight. if they don't stop soon, i am going to need some nighttime med help again as no sleep is clearly not helping with my battle with fatigue.

happy monday all, here we go.

anywhere i fight, you fight. xoxo

important ps) please keep sending your love to wallace and greta and their son as she continues her fight again melanoma in the comfort of her home.