unexpected forecast change

"an arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward.

when life is dragging you back with difficulties,

it means it's going to launch you into something great.

so just focus, and keep aiming."

(unknown)

my goal for blue skies for the rest of this week hit a little big rough patch yesterday.

i found a small lump on my upper right thigh. not what i want to find on a blue sky kind of day. my hand happened to graze that part of my leg late in the afternoon and i felt the lump. i think that you could probably hear my heart hit the floor. i knew in less than a second that it was a lump, but i felt it again just to make sure that i wasn't dreaming having a nightmare. nightmare confirmed.

so i have an ultrasound friday morning at 9:30, results are monday at 2:30. i get to wait over the weekend for the results, you know i love hate that.

atleast with an ultrasound, i don't have to drink contrast. that is a little major bonus. i can keep my routine and take malena to school before i drive in to seattle for the appointment. double bonus. i get to have breakfast with barrett at one of our favorite breakfast spots right before the ultrasound. triple bonus. so minus the ultrasound and lump part, a good friday morning is ahead of me.

chase had a good day today as well, and is hopefully having sweet dreams while i am typing this post. here is the latest on our warrior:
+++ "Last night was a good night for all. Tanner's hockey team won their game and Chaser had a great night with Grandma. He slept peacefully with just getting up once with a dirty diaper. Sleeping 2 nights in a row, lets go for 3 tonight. Today has been a great day for therapy and all around for Chase. He seems to be very alert, esp with his eyes. He has been tracking alot. Chase had his favorite cartoon on today and as soon as Dad and I walked into the room and gave him a kiss hello, his eyes immediately made contact with us. What a greeting!!!! It melts my heart to know that he is really in there and he knows when we enter the room. I couldn't stop smiling :)

Chase had some visitors at PT today, Grandma and Grandpa Sheehan got a chance to see what it is all about. "Unbelievable" is all Grandpa could say. I think they were both impressed. Rehab runs like a well oiled machine and they all love Chase like he was one of their own. He did let out a loud cry that I haven't heard in quite sometime. I wasn't sure if I should be happy or sad about the cry. On one hand he is feeling the pain and that is good, It is a sense of normalicy but yet sad because I dont want to see my son in any kind of pain. Either way Chase made it through and there will be more pain to come. In Speech she pulled out Chase's favorite kind of yogurt, Yoplait Trix. Chase had a few baby swallows then she decided to give him a big boy bite. It took him awhile to swallow it all but he did it. So proud of him. Therapy has taken alot out of Chase today. He has been sleeping most of the night. I hope that doesn't mean he will be up all night. Wish me luck and here is to another fantastic day tomorrow.......God is Good!!!!!

Day 5.....storm free!!!!"

have a good friday all - thanks for all of the good energy. i am sure this lump will be nothing. right? right. that is what i keep telling my very scared self, and will tell myself that probably a trillion more times until 2:30 on monday. even though we all know it will be nothing, i figured that i could use all of your good mojo vibes to help make sure that is the case.

this picture shows what i am going to focus on when i am having the ultrasound tomorrow, my own blue skies instead of those damn ceiling tiles. i am aiming for a million more blue sky moments like this one. just like the quote, i am going to focus and aim. focus and aim. i need to make sure that i hit the bullseye on my life.

anywhere i go, you go. be brave. xoxo