breakthrough/my mom

+++ breakthrough today.

sat next to a woman in a meeting who i had not seen in a few years and she clearly didn't recognize me. when she finally did, she said "you used to have long blonde, curly hair - not anymore it looks like?" i said "nope, not anymore" and we moved on. i didn't get upset. my eyes didn't well with tears. thanks to the good advice of my friend michelle, i first thought about seeing someone i hadn't talked to in a long time. my second thought was that she wouldn't recognize me. my third thought was that i would be ok. healing? yes, healing. 

+++ my mom.

this weekend we will celebrate my mom's 70th birthday, the party planning has all been leading up to this. this picture is from when i was one, and it is crazy how much i see my own resemblance in my mom, and how much malena looked like me when i was a baby.

my mom is many things to me. i am pretty sure that me and my bro/sis have the best mom ever (yay for us!). caretaker. cheerleader. sounding board. good example of taking care of those you love. friend. shoulder to cry on. awesome cook. amazing grandmother. support system. a constant when everything else always seems to change. laugh maker. nurse. listener. center of our world.

i thought of her the other day when i was reading a post by libby ryder talking about her mom sharing thoughts on her fight with cancer. her mom had said "one of the hardest parts about libby being sick was that for the majority of her life i was the one that offered her wisdom and advise as i had walked many of the same roads before she had. i always seemed to have something to offer. but in cancer...it was my daughter who was teaching me what it looked like to walk through cancer...".  i have thought a lot about my parents since my diagnosis and how it affects them as parents and how hard it is for them. libby's mom's words struck a chord with me because my diagnosis was probably one of the first times my mom couldn't say to me "i know exactly what you are going through and you can do this." but she could say she loved me and she would be there for whatever i needed, and that was all i really needed to hear. i was thankful she didn't have similar experiences with cancer, thankful that she didn't have those stories to share.

so this weekend is all about our mom. i can't wait. bring on the party, the smiles, the laughter, the celebration of 70 years with hopefully many more healthy ones to follow.

she is simply the best. ever.

happy birthday mom.