mixed

today was one of those days that i would call a mix. good (great) and (very) sad.

the good (great):
+++ my friend ellie surprised me with a kelly rae roberts figurine in my office today. i came back from a run of back to back meetings and found an awesome little package on my desk. i immediately recognized the handwriting and knew it was from ellie. her note said that she saw it and thought of me. the words on it read "my wish for you is that you embrace every ebb and flow. that you feel the full breath of possibility. that you listen to what is calling you." i love it. of course, i immediately put it on my desk at work next to my fairy picture of malena. an awesome unexpected surprise from one of my most favorite ladies on a work filled monday.

+++ some of my most favorite ladies have created a monday mystery club where we meet  on the 4th monday of the month to do something together. what we do will be a mystery each month until the plan is revealed. each month a different person gets to pick the mystery and everyone joins in the fun. this month we did dinner and pottery, which was my friend kimberly's choice, it was her month to pick and it was an early celebration of her birthday later this week. for pottery, we each painted a piece but we mixed it up. instead of painting something for ourselves, we painted something for each other by randomly drawing names. so everyone ends up with a piece of pottery that their friend painted. great idea. super fun. perfect way to celebrate a birthday. girl time. painting pottery. drinking wine. laughter. smiles. fun. music. hugs. loved every second of it.

+++ getting home just as malena was falling asleep. a chance to say goodnight. getting to tell her that i loved her at the end of the day. getting a kiss and a hug. seeing that sleepy smile as she falls off to sleep. my favorite end to the day.

the (very) sad:
+++ as we were headed to dinner, i got an update on a melanoma blog that i follow that hillary quinn kind passed away from melanoma yesterday, one day short of her 26th birthday. i wrote about her in this post last month. if you didn't watch it then, please watch her video now. on the stand up to cancer feed today, they wrote "we’d like to share a list of a few of the things we’ve learned from hillary: that the bravest people face challenges with a smile, not anger; that not even cancer can rob a person like hillary of her inner and outer beauty; that every moment on this planet is a gift to be cherished. rest in peace, hillary."

as we were painting tonight, i just took it all in. some of my favorite people in the world being in the same room at the same time. their laughter. their focus on their artwork for their friend. the time spent being in the same place with them on a random monday night as the rain fell outside. the time shared. the individual moments. how much i love them. how much i want to be at a million more monday mystery club nights with them. my friend sasha was painting a piece (which rocks) for me and on it she wrote the word "dreams". as i was looking at the piece, i was trying to hold it together because i felt like i was going to lose it in a pool of tears at any moment. but my next thought was that in that moment my dream was that i want to share so many more mondays with those women. i thought about hillary and the courage she had to face melanoma and to do treatments in the hope that if they wouldn't bring a cure for her, they would bring a cure for other melanoma patients. like me.

i think that is about as brave as you can get. i thank her for being willing to fight for her own life, but also for the lives of others. i thank all of the melanoma patients that fight. the ongoing fight means more mondays. more laughter. more time spent with loved ones. more dinners. more pottery. more hugs.

more time.

rest in peace hillary. you will not be forgotten, i will remember you, and i know many others will as well. thank you.