scan results

i am writing this from an infusion bed so it is going to be short because i am emotional and i don't know what to say about how i am feeling as it is a mix of anger/sadness/disappointment/thankfulness, etc.


but here is what we know.


the tumors have not shrunk.


they have not grown, and there are no new ones, which i am so thankful for.


but i wanted the last three months of hell to shrink those tumors, so the fact that they didn't is super devastating to me.


i am getting an infusion today of just the one drug (the one i was on before we started the two drug combo).


i will be on this drug indefinitely. infusions every two weeks from here on out.


if at some point we think that things are stable enough to talk to the lung surgeon about doing another lung surgery to remove the tumors, we will cross that bridge when we get there.


so for now the best that we can hope for is that the tumors remain stable.  and that i can handle this treatment again.


it feels like such a long day for us and it is only 10:22.


anywhere i fight, you fight.


thanks for hanging in with me.


xoxo