magic

"in the end, we'll all become stories"

(margaret atwood)

if you have been reading this blog for a while, you know that at the end of every year i pick a word to focus on for the year ahead. it is a word i carry with me throughout the 365 days .

for 2016, my word was fight.

i chose that at the end of 2015 because i knew i was going to be heading into surgery and i didn't know what else was going to come. but i knew without a doubt that in 2016 i was going to have to fight.

now we know what the year held.

lung surgery.
the recovery.
more scans than i can count on my two hands.
more ivs than i care to remember.
a million needles.
1 dose of dual treatment.
a summer of fighting steroids.
swelling of my legs, face, arms.
muscle cramps.
steroid rage.
joint aches.
nightmares.
surgery to install my port.
8 doses of single treatment.
muscle cramps.
joint aches.
fatigue.
nausea.
dry mouth.
dry skin.
irritability.
lack of appetite.
taste buds totally out of whack.
good news.
bad news.

so there is no doubt that fight will stay with me, i will carry that word with me for the rest of my life. no doubt about that. there is not one day that goes by that i don't think about that word. it is the reason that i get up each day and keep going. i have to keep fighting, there is just not any other option.

so in looking ahead to 2017, i have decided that my word for the year will be "magic".

i am choosing this one for a couple of reasons.

first off, i think that we can all use as much magic as we can get. but i also want to look for more opportunities to create magic this year too --- doing special things for loved ones ---  making time for the people and activities that are the most important --- creating new memories in our home that include lots of laughter and love --- looking for opportunities to make days brighter for others.

i also know that our family needs magic in 2017. i will be continuing treatment. kim will have surgeries in february and march. my grandma has spent the last two weeks in and out of the hospital (because the fates just couldn't let our family have a noneventful holiday season), and tomorrow she will transition to a nursing home. which will be a transition for all of us as she moves to a place that we hope is the right place for her with the care that she now needs to have. so we already know that there will be tough times ahead, and i am sure that life will throw more at us because it always does. so i think that we could use some magic in 2017, and i look forward to seeing how it shows up. i believe that it will.

and i guess that i also feel like i need a little more magic myself. this year has been one hell of a year for me. i am really tired. i am hoping that 2017 brings me some medical magic. i don't want to jinx myself with any predictions of what could come, or what i would like to have happen. but i really, really hope that this year brings some magic and good news.

i think i deserve some magic.

i think that we all do.

i hope that however you ring in 2017, whether quietly or loudly, the upcoming year brings you what you are wishing for.  and i hope that it brings you good health, laughter, some new adventures, a chance to give love and be loved, and gives you many opportunities to thank your lucky stars for each day you get to wake up and start a new day.

i thank you for reading my words through this year as my story continues.

i thank you for all of the love, prayers, mojo, and kindness you have given me and my family this year.

there are not enough words to say how much it has meant to us.

happy, happy new year to you and yours.

may 2017 be a good year for all of us.

any year i fight, you fight.

onward we go.

xoxo

+++ if you are thinking about a word for 2017, you can go here to read about ali edwards's "one little word" class, and to her blog to read about her word "connect" for 2017
+++ my friend liz has her amazing talismans again this year so you can carry or wear your word throughout the year, check out her shop - i will be carrying a heart talisman with "magic" on it throughout this year. liz also just wrote about her 2016 word "gentle" on her blog
+++ elise blaha cripe has her 2017 goal tracker available, i am printing mine this weekend. i already know what the goal will be - but i might end up having more than one;)
+++ another blogger i follow has chosen peace for her word for 2017 (and her shop is great and i got many gifts from her shop this year for the holidays).