for kim

this is my sister-in-law kim.

she has been with my brother since i was a kid, so basically i don't remember what it was like to not have her in our family - and so i think of her as a sister and ditched that "in-law" part a long time ago.

on wednesday kim was diagnosed with breast cancer.

and again, our world stopped turning.

as soon as i heard her voice on the phone, i knew something was very, very wrong.

and through the tears were the details of what we know and what we don't know at this point.

beyond the details we don't yet know about all of the next steps, here are some others things i don't know.

i don't know why the fates chose her.

i don't know why our family seems to have the hits keep coming one after another.

i don't know why the fates think that my parents should have two of their kids fighting cancer at the same time.

i don't know why they feel that she should have to take on this fight.

i don't know why my brother and my niece and nephew (and all of her loved ones) should have to watch her take on this fight.

i don't know why someone else i love has to get this news. i am supposed to be taking the cancer card for my team, and each time someone else i love gets this news i just get more and more angry. and sad. because i don't want anyone i love to go through this fight, and i can't seem to protect everyone i love regardless of how damn hard i fight.

i don't know why the fates are so damn cruel.

but here is what i do now.

i know that kim is stronger than she probably feels like she is right now.

i know that she will dig as deep as she needs to in order to fight this.

i know that she is going to be surrounded by more love than she can imagine and she will have love by her side every step of the way.

i know that my family will circle in and move forward like we always do, we just need time to process the shock and get our legs under us.

i know she will kick cancer's ass, because her and i have already made a pact, we both fight for as long as it takes.

on monday at 12 she meets with the surgeon. we are so thankful that they are able to get her in to to see the surgeon so quickly.

please send your love, vibes, mojo, prayers and anything else you've got to kim.

while she is in her appointment, i will be in my infusion appointment if my bloodwork comes back ok.

so tomorrow we both fight at the same time, although frankly, i think that we will both be fighting at the same time from this point on regardless of whether we are in appointments.

i still have not heard back on my lump biopsy on my leg, hoping to hear monday or tuesday.

thanks for all of the love and good thoughts.

we need them.

anywhere we fight, you fight. xo