Friday, May 1, 2015

vibes for mary

mary goes in for her mri this morning to confirm if the melanoma is back only in that one spot in her leg.

i am not a mri machine, but i know that will be the result. it is really the only option for how this latest dance with the black beast can turn out for her.

so please send your love, prayers, mojo and good vibes to wisconsin today. it is very much needed.

yesterday i had a tough day due to some hard conversations with HR about my diagnosis and some (really shitty) decisions they are making around it. i never, ever cry at work. but i did yesterday on the call with HR because sometimes i just get to my breaking point. at one point, hearing the words "i understand this must be hard for you" left me wanting to scream back into the phone "unless you have been fighting cancer for the last 5 years and are less than two weeks out from scans and absolutely terrified and are now having to get shitty news from your HR department then i don't think you really can understand how hard this must be for me." but of course i didn't scream, because i could barely even talk through the tears. the call ended, and as it always feels like, i was left to quickly get my shit together and make it through the rest of the day.

tomorrow barrett and i head to the annual melanoma clinic for the day. as usual, some parts of me really do not want to go because it is so damn hard to hear some of the stories. as usual, some parts of me do because i want to hear about the latest research and the stories of those kicking melanoma's ass. as usual, we will go because the ability to be informed will always keep us going back.

i hope that you all have good weekends, i hope that you are able to do something that you really love to do.

please make the most of it. xo

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