onward

"never look back unless you are planning to go that way."

(henry david thoreau)

 

i saw that quote on kelly rae robert's facebook page today and loved it. so, so true.

 

today was another day filled with a focus on moving forward. i had appointments with both the naturopath and the nutrionist and i think that we have a great plan on next steps. i love having a good plan, and i love getting to implement it.

 

in short (and i mean very, very, very short), the plan is that i will eat a ton of vegetables and fruits. i will drink water like a maniac and green tea is pretty much my new best friend (but it doesn't like to chat very much). i will not eat or drink dairy (i miss you cheese), i will not eat or drink sugar (i miss you candy, diet coke, and reisling),and i will not eat meat (i miss you cheeseburgers). planning the logistics around a diet like this is serious business. no quick and last minute meals happening around here anytime soon unless it is broccolli dipped in hummus;)

 

i know the blog has been quiet for a few days. that was definitely not the intention. but for some reason, when there are a million things i have on my mind, i haven't felt like saying anything. but i do now so you can expect more frequency again, although if there are days when there are no updates (ann - you know i am talking to you now;)), don't worry - either i am knee deep in spinach, my mouth became glued to my water bottle, i forgot to walk home as i did laps around the neighborhood, or i just feel like taking a day off from writing.

 

since surgery, i haven't been able to lay with malena as she falls asleep. in order to do that, i have to lay on my right side which has been impossible for obvious reasons. barrett got to take my spot for that lucky bedtime position for the last month. tonight she called for me to come upstairs, and asked if i could lay next to her for a little bit.  my side has finally healed enough that i can lay on my right side for a little bit without being in pain, so of course i said yes. as i laid next to her, she asked if my owies were all gone now. i told her that the owies will always be there but they are better now. she then said "momma, did you tell your doctor to fix your owies because you wanted to lay next to your little kid when she falls asleep?" insert kleenex here.

 

oh, malena...every second of every day since surgery i have been doing everything i can to heal those owies so that i can have those bedtime moments with you again. you have no idea how many times a day i ask and pray to never have any more owies so that i can watch you fall asleep for as many precious nights as you let me.