it wasn't clear from the portion i saw what type of cancer she has. but the focus was on her getting ready to start treatment and how she was coping early on with the diagnosis. i thought it was well done, it captured a lot of what i felt during that time. the feeling of just wanting life to be normal, but knowing it was anything but. the look on her face when they put the iv in her arm was exactly what i think my face must have looked like. her eyes watering, a mix of fear and a million other emotions on her face. needless to say i was in tears by the time the episode was over.
there were things in that hour that struck very close to home for me. in addition, november/december are really great months with a ton of celebrating. but they also carry a little undercurrent for me, less this year probably than the last two. the undercurrent is that little voice that i still hear on birthdays/holidays when i may briefly wonder what the future holds. will i be a part of the celebrations to come in the future? i try really hard to think positively as much as possible, and i think that i do a damn good job. but i would be lying if i said that the voice isn't there at times, and sometimes in the dark, those tears feel really good to get out. i don't think that they deserve to see the daylight. i also know that the email is going to come any day now with the dates of my scans in january. i actually wish the email would just come so i would know the dates. not knowing the dates is almost worse for me because of the unknown that looms ahead.
on the fourteenth day of this month, i am thankful for:
+++ it not raining when i had to walk to the office since i forgot my umbrella at home
+++ working with some fun people that make meetings better
+++ strolling through one of my favorite paper stores with malena and both of us having a good time
+++ malena's excitement over the upcoming snowflake lane event that we go to each year, and her reminding me tonight that "last year when we went mommy i was just a little baby, do you remember that?". hilarious.
+++ a great swim teacher
+++ signing up for wisdom notes, i am excited for a little love in my inbox each day through the holidays
+++ excitement over putting my hat in the ring for a design team from january through june of next year. you never know unless you try, right? right. plus, the trying part (aka making cards) will be fun.
+++ top chef's new season being based in seattle.
+++ laying forehead to forehead with malena as she fell asleep...and as i almost fell asleep.
today when malena and i were wandering around paper source, i saw these "i am grateful" cards. they would be perfect at place settings or just to give to the peeps you are spending thanksgiving with. so i thought that they would be perfect for a little giveaway. they come in a pack of ten. if you would like a chance to win, leave a comment on the blog (click over to the blog if you are reading this via an email) noting one thing you are grateful for today. leave a comment by 8pm thursday. i will use the random number wizard doodad to select the lucky winner and will send them out on friday. good luck peeps.
+++ these are the best pencils i have ever seen. i am also totally buying this stamp. i see great cards in the future with that one. perhaps those will be another giveaway opportunity.
+++ the book in this post looks like it is full of some great ideas
+++ if you are going to have a kids table at thankgiving, it looks like this site is going to have a cool idea to make it fun for the munchkins
+++ oh man, i so want to make one of these
+++ life, interrupted. exactly.
+++ cute baby announcement pillows