i knew it

when i got the news about going to portland, one of my very first thoughts was that i was getting good news on monday because i was going to get crappy news today.

i called it.

the scans showed that there is a spot on my right lung that has increased. but it is not at a size that they can biopsy. the spot is located towards the edge of my lung. that is a good location for it to be in case we need to do a biopsy. we will do another round of scans in 6 months. if the spot has increased again, depending on the size, we will do the biopsy at UW medical center. if it has increased to a size we can get in there, i will do it. already decided that before we walked out of the room with the doctor today. if i could have scheduled that biopsy today, i would have.

i am really, really tired. might actually sleep tonight because i feel so exhausted. tough day. i had really hoped that i would get all clear results and would be given the green light for a year of no scans. i had really hoped that i would get the ability to make some decisions that would not have to be based on more scans in 6 months, and not knowing what i will need to do depending on those results.

thanks for all of the good vibes today. it helps to know how many people are rooting (and singing - thanks mh!) for me.

i know that whatever comes, i am not alone.

for knowing that on this day, i am so thankful. xo.