the funeral for diane was very nice, but tough. to hear about her fight with cancer, and to hear stories and see pictures of the last year or two (when she didn't feel well, when she lost her hair, when she wore a wig, etc.) were hard to hear and watch. a couple of times it felt like watching snapshots of my life flashing by. they played two songs that generally make me tear up when i am not already upset. at one point during the second song - about a woman who goes before her time - i felt like i literally couldn't breathe for a second. another goodbye. i am so tired of those. i never like goodbyes. ones that involve cancer are even more brutal.
but life comes with the sad as well as the happy times. tomorrow i get to celebrate a friend's 40th birthday. i wish her 40 more (and beyond that) years of good health, joy, laughter and adventures. i look forward to more fun memories to share with her. love you christina. you are rockin it out at 40.
a couple of things for the weekend...
- these two songs are on constant rotation on my ipod
"little lion man" by mumford and sons - i heard this for the first time last week and immediately knew that i would have to load it up
martina mcbride's "i'm gonna love you through it" is a song that i can't get through without tears. i heard it the first time this summer when i was driving. i remember feeling like i had been stopped cold in my tracks while i was driving at the same time. in the last part of the video is one of the women saying that you know that are loved, but you don't know how much you are loved until you get sick. i would definitely say that is true. i would also say that you know that you love your family and friends, but you don't know how much you love them until you get sick and have to think about leaving them.
off to bed i go. will try to get some sleep. sleep has not been my friend this week. i guess we are on the outs. not a big surprise, i was expecting the nightmares to gain frequency again this week. they showed up as expected. they are not a welcomed guest.
tgif peeps. hope your friday is a good one.
After watching McBride's video I thought about those who find themselves going through a cancer diagnosis without a sport group.
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