time

"we are reminded how short life really is, and how we are just passing through.

so, all the people you haven't told you love lately, tell them,

and live your days like you mean it"

(hall sutton)

today was a strange day for me. when i was getting off of the bus, i realized that my oncologist's office had not called me to schedule my scans in january. i made a mental note to myself to call later in the day and check in with them to see what the status was on getting the appointments booked.

when i got into the office about 5 minutes later, i had an email telling me that a woman i know of through work (not personally) had passed away from lung cancer. she was diagnosed in august. she is gone now. i forwarded on the email to other colleagues that needed to know the news. without feeling it coming, i then had tears streaming down my face. in part because i was so sad that was her story. in part because her story scared me and sent me spinning for a little bit. but i am used to being scared now, so it took a little bit of time but i pulled it together and continued on with my day.

one of my best friends had some moles biopsied this morning. i trust that he is my counterbalance for the day, and he will get clean results. trying to figure out how to make time move faster so that he gets clean results sooner than later. couldn't quite figure it out today, have to add it to my to-do list tomorrow.

out of the blue, around 10am i got a call from my oncologist's office telling me my scans are booked for january 10th and results will be on january 11th. the morning had come full circle without any help from me. now when i think about the new year, i will immediately be thinking of my scans that wait for me on the other side of it.

you can probably guess what my new year's wish will be. i came up with it at about 10:05am this morning.