beth's results

i am numb and don't have any words.

they may come at some point, but they aren't going to come today. and likely not for a while.

that i know for sure.

here are the results from today in beth's words:

I’ll keep this short today as I am still processing.  
The appointment went about as I expected.   He will complete another test but I have only a 5% chance of being a candidate for immunotherapy.  Surgery is not an option, too many spots.  There is a clinical trial at SCCA that is doing chemo and immunotherapy.  My doctor is fighting to get me into it.   Otherwise it’s chemo treatment.   
     Not the news I hoped for but I do hope to get into the trial. I will also be doing a second opinion,  not sure where yet.  
  And beyond treatment my hope and prayers are still for a miracle or a miracle treatment that will be developed in the future.  
  Things will likely start in about a month so I want to do as much as possible before that.   I’ll be in Hilton Head with my family next week.  
  I will update as I know more and process more.   Will likely know more by the end of the month.  
  I do not look forward to the side effects I know treatment brings.  This time I have to figure out how to live with them not just survive it.  
    Thanks for your love, support and prayers.  

i guess there are actually two words that i can think of for today.

fuck cancer.