catching my breath

long time, no write.

life has been crazy busy this week for a ton of different reasons which i am too tired and too exhausted to write about.

i am looking forward to the vacation that i have coming up. wednesday is my first day off, and it currently feels like it is a lifetime away due to how much work i have to get done between now and then. but, i will get there, i will shut my blackberry off, i will leave work behind for a week and a half. i can't wait.

i need to catch my breath.

for a couple of weeks now, i have felt like i can't catch it no matter how hard i try. i just can't catch up.

i think the lump in my leg shook me up even more than i knew at the time. it has been tougher to bounce back than i expected.

i am very much looking forward to the "your story" retreat that i am going to this week on wednesday. a chance to focus on being present and hopefully finding ways to continue to embrace my story. my story. the one with a twist that i never saw coming. the twist that i have a hard time carrying. the twist i would love to put down and walk away from. forever. and ever.

on wednesday i will head towards the coast.

as noted in my packet, "i come to the sea to let go of what no longer serves me as i ask her to take pieces of grief and all that will not be out with the tide. i imagine all of it tumbling with shell fragments and driftwood until it entwines with the seaweed that sways farther than i can see. i come to the sea to remember me..."

i am looking forward to leaving some pieces of grief behind.

wednesday, you can't get here soon enough. please hurry up, i am waiting on you.