for the ladies

i found this link this morning, have already watched it a couple of times (tears everytime) and had to pass it along. it gave me the spark to write this blog that has been brewing for awhile now...so while malena naps on the couch next to me, i figured there is no time like the present....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_4qwVLqt9Q&feature=share

i have been very blessed to be surrounded with amazing women my entire life. i am thankful for each and every one of you and for all of the things that you have added to my life. i would not be the mom, wife, daughter, sister, cousin, granddaughter, friend, aunt, sister-in-law, neice, daughter-in-law, etc. that i am today without you.

so ladies, this post and video is for you - i can't say it better than she does. but i can say thank you for your.......love, faith, hand to hold, support, good thoughts, prayers, cards, emails, encouragement, tears and for wiping mine, hugs, food, smiles, shoulders to cry on, facebook updates (i love those more than ever - i like getting to see life), texts, laughs, time...all of the great things that you have done for me. not just in the last year, but in all of the days i have known you. since my diagnosis, i haven't always known what to do, how to reach out, what to share, what to not share, or just didn't feel well enough to do anything besides dig deep and make it through the day. i have always known that you would be there for me in a second if i needed anything. some of you have told me (and i have known without you telling me but didn't know how to make it better for either of us) that you haven't known what to do, what to say, what i needed, what to ask me, what to not ask me. you aren't alone. i haven't known what to do either, and still don't in many ways. we will continue to find our way, i think my writing and you reading this blog will help.

this paragraph is going to be tough for you to read, and it is tough for me to write. there have been many times in the last year that i have thought about malena and what her life would be like if i was not around to watch her grow up (i totally plan on that by the way just to be clear). one thing i take comfort in when those dark thoughts come is that she is as lucky as i am because she has all of you. i know that no matter what happens, she will be surrounded by awesome women who will love her more than she can ever imagine.

her and i are both very lucky girls.

i love you all more than you know.