the day has come

i had bloodwork this morning.

my liver results were good again, so i get to go off of the steroids as of tomorrow.

yes.

super happy about that.

also a little anxious as i am worried that my liver will start to ramp back up when i am off the steroids. but hopefully not.

so the plan is that i will go in next monday for bloodwork and scans. the scans will set the baseline for treatment. hopefully we see that the tumors have shrunk (dream scenario). if not that, hopefully the tumors have stayed the same. what we don't want to see is that the tumors have grown.

we will get the results from the scans on the 22nd. if my bloodwork on that day is good, i will start treatment again that day. i will start on one of the drugs at a lower dose than we did before, if that takes and my liver doesn't go sideways after some time, we will introduce the second drug back in at a lower dose.

my treatment will be every two weeks. indefinitely.

i will get a port put in my chest prior to the second treatment at the beginning of september.

i would say that i am probably feeling about a million different emotions around the update today. relief. anxiety. anger. sadness. scared. you name it.

definitely more to come on all of those thoughts. but for now, i am going to head to bed. i am really, really tired. it will be very odd to wake up in the morning and not have taking a pill be the first thing that i have to do to get my stomach ready for the steroids, followed by not having to take the actual steroids. i almost think that i need to hide them as it has become such a routine for me that i might accidentally take them out of habit alone.

so more soon.

thanks for sticking it out with me as i roll through these ups and downs, and all the in betweens.

it has been one hell of a ride.

one that i never wanted a ticket for.